late night fumble fingers; or making your daily choice
I just lost the comment I had posted over at Idelette's blog in reponse to this post (oops, perma link not working. I'll fix it later. It's the post entitled "Love and Dislike"). I'm going to try to recreate it here, mostly to remind myself of what I was thinking and deciding.
It was Idelette's comment in her comment section that really made me think. I have been on the cusp, or maybe even on the wrong side of the cusp, of starting to not like two people in my life who I will now be interacting with on an almost daily basis. I have long kept careful watch on the dividing line between not liking someone and feeling contempt for them because once I feel contempt, I do not seem to be able to resurrect a sense of respect for the person. It's a slippery slope.
I think choosing to like a person who you don't particularly requires both diligent effort and received grace. I deliberately put the effort part first, as it takes significant effort to marshal one's thoughts and responses from the 'oh, there she goes again' and 'I can't believe he said that AGAIN' channels and instead, remembering with grace and humility the other's humanity. It takes effort to remember another's joys, fears, hopes, pains, idiosyncracies, and quirks and then choose to respect them.
Not only do you have to decide to make the effort, you have to remake that decision daily and sometimes more often than that.
God, please remind me regularly of the choice I make to love these two people. And when I'm weary in my effort, stop my ears against the things that grate my soul and help me hear instead their unique personalities. Amen.
It was Idelette's comment in her comment section that really made me think. I have been on the cusp, or maybe even on the wrong side of the cusp, of starting to not like two people in my life who I will now be interacting with on an almost daily basis. I have long kept careful watch on the dividing line between not liking someone and feeling contempt for them because once I feel contempt, I do not seem to be able to resurrect a sense of respect for the person. It's a slippery slope.
I think choosing to like a person who you don't particularly requires both diligent effort and received grace. I deliberately put the effort part first, as it takes significant effort to marshal one's thoughts and responses from the 'oh, there she goes again' and 'I can't believe he said that AGAIN' channels and instead, remembering with grace and humility the other's humanity. It takes effort to remember another's joys, fears, hopes, pains, idiosyncracies, and quirks and then choose to respect them.
Not only do you have to decide to make the effort, you have to remake that decision daily and sometimes more often than that.
God, please remind me regularly of the choice I make to love these two people. And when I'm weary in my effort, stop my ears against the things that grate my soul and help me hear instead their unique personalities. Amen.
posted by Lisa at 1:54 a.m.
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