highly recommended

I picked up the book Why Does He Do That? on the recommendation of one of my classmates from the Family Violence and the Contemporary Church class.

I have spent the last hour paging through bits and pieces of it and I think each and every person should read this book. The author, Lundy Bancroft, sets out to answer 21 of the most commonly asked questions of partners of abusers. His goal is to help women recognize when they are being controlled or devalued in a relationship, to find ways of getting free of the abuse it it is happening and to know how to avoid getting involved with an abusive man.

I was particularly struck by his chapter on types of abusive men. Even on my skim reading, I was able to identify a number of characteristics that I have encountered, both personally and professionally. What was most valuable to me was Bancroft's indentication of characteristics of abusive men that are outside of the rambo or demanding man. He indentifies the "water torturer", "Mr. Sensitive", and "Mr Right". The abusers who make you think you are crazy for "complaining" or being "self centered". On a personal note, I anticipate that this book will also give me tons of good information on how to be in healthy relationships.

Helpful, helpful stuff. Read it both for yourself and for others in your life.