in the garden

I have been avoiding/putting off Bobbie's invitation to seach out what flower I am in God's garden. I'm not sure why I've put it off for so long; perhaps because I was worried that God wouldn't have a picture for me (I wanted a clear word like Idelette). I've been doing some thinking about it and at first, I thought that I might be like bougainvillea - strong roots, climbs high, beautiful flowers, adaptable. This morning, I sat quietly (for about 45 seconds!) and quickly ran through some other flowers. Daffodils? Lilacs (my most very favorite flowers of all)? Something else?

"You are wild flowers. You don't have to do a single thing to be beautiful. You are like the Indian paint brush which flowers bright vibrant red after a wildfire. Strong, tenancious, the first to flower after a fire. Planted firmly in the ground, your growth and blooming happens in a natural cycle. Nothing you could do can make you more beautiful than you already are.

....walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you EVER seen colour and design quite like it? The ten best dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them...."

Mmmm, yes, please! and thank you!

raspberry delight

I am totally into eating Pop Tarts right now. This is A Bad Thing. I've thought about buying them for over a year and finally got some last grocery shop. They're gross and yummy at the same time.

lamp post

I found this great quote in the comments section for this post at RLP's blog:

"Some people use the Bible the way a drunk uses a lamp post -- for support rather than illumination."

Apache marriage blessing

In Marriage

Now you will feel no rain - for each of you will be shelter for the other.
Now you will feel no cold - for each of you will be warmth for the other.
Now there is no more loneliness - for each of you will be companion to the other.
But - there is only one life before you. Go now to your dwelling place to enter into the days of your togetherness and may your days be good and long upon the earth.

He then recited a marriage prayer:

To Be a Family
To be a Family - is to love together, to laugh together, to cry together, to share the course of our lives with those who care about us.

It is to never face heartache alone, to freely rejoice at our blessings, and to share in the joy of the blessings of others.

It is to learn to relate to each other, work out our differences, help each other grow and nuture each other's talents and giftings.

It is to hold a hand, share a hug, blow a kiss and know that we are a part of something larger than ourselves, eternal, and a very special gift of God called - Our Family.

It was a tremendous honour to welcome S to our family. The wedding was wonderful - fun and meaningful. An excellent day.

wedding bells!

My brother is getting married tomorrow! All is ready for family and friends to come together to celebrate the beginning of their new family. I love my new sister in law very much - she is gentle of spirit, loving, kind and very beautiful. It makes my heart happy that she will now be a part of our family. I see such joy and peace in my brother's face. He usually has an extremely goofy smile for pictures; since meeting S, he shows up in pictures with a unguarded and joyful smile. It makes me grin when I see how happy and deeply rooted he is with S.

My dad will be saying a little something at the wedding tomorrow. I will post the wedding blessing he will give, as it is shockingly beautiful. 'Til then, I'll be setting up, rehersing and then celebrating!

hiatus

I'm both busy and lonely these days. The loneliness is too sharp to write about. It doesn't feel safe.

I'll be back in a bit.

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday, Mike! What a pleasure and blessing it is to hang with you!

favorite things

the colour of the eastern sky just before a late afternoon summer storm

- Purdy's dark chocolate covered ginger (YUM!)
- receiving mail with hand-written envelopes
- lilacs
- freshly painted toe nails
- a soft, friendly dog
- catching a glance of someone smiling to themselves
- ink pens with fine tips
- getting into a bed with fresh sheets
- snuggles from Gracie
- drinking morning coffee up at the lake, watching the morning mist swirl on the water
- ladybugs
- freckles
- armfuls of daffodils
- the smell of a just extinguished match
- green eyes

worthwhile

“Rebecca, I'm going to share with you my philosophy of life. Each of us is given five balls. One is rubber and four are glass. The rubber ball is work. If you drop it, it will always bounce back. The other four glass balls are family, friends, health and integrity. If you drop them, they are shattered. They won't bounce back."

5 Balls, by Rebecca Ryan

highly recommended

I picked up the book Why Does He Do That? on the recommendation of one of my classmates from the Family Violence and the Contemporary Church class.

I have spent the last hour paging through bits and pieces of it and I think each and every person should read this book. The author, Lundy Bancroft, sets out to answer 21 of the most commonly asked questions of partners of abusers. His goal is to help women recognize when they are being controlled or devalued in a relationship, to find ways of getting free of the abuse it it is happening and to know how to avoid getting involved with an abusive man.

I was particularly struck by his chapter on types of abusive men. Even on my skim reading, I was able to identify a number of characteristics that I have encountered, both personally and professionally. What was most valuable to me was Bancroft's indentication of characteristics of abusive men that are outside of the rambo or demanding man. He indentifies the "water torturer", "Mr. Sensitive", and "Mr Right". The abusers who make you think you are crazy for "complaining" or being "self centered". On a personal note, I anticipate that this book will also give me tons of good information on how to be in healthy relationships.

Helpful, helpful stuff. Read it both for yourself and for others in your life.

tired

I'm tired. I'm find the weight of the facts and stories I'm learning about to be heavy. It weighs but an ounce, though, compared to the burden of living the story.

Do you know what the statistic is? That one in three women in North America experience physical abuse - physical acts that would classify as an indictable criminal offence.

What a heavy burden for those victims. We must come along side and share that burden. Oh Church, you must share the burden of your daughters!

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out by conflict [my translation]? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me - watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly".

Do those feel like words of promise and relief or are they too far away to even been imaginable?