difference

Your thoughts please: this morning in Meeting for Worship (the Quaker service), we again held the silence for the entire time. I am noticing a difference between Meeting for Worship and traditional church services. It seems to me that at Meeting this morning, I was being worship, rather than doing worship. For in my present and my silence, in my anxiety and hopes, I was being worship. There was no action other than my presence. I didn't have to sing or track along with a sermon, or do any actions. The words of the song that goes: "here I am to worship, here I am to bow down, here I am to say that you're my God" where running through my head. That all seems to action oriented, so dependent on doing particular things.

When the actions, words, song - all that are stripped away, the thing left is presence. A friend passed on a quote to me this week that has really made sense - "God's first language is silence". For me, in that silence, with the proscribed actions removed, I can be worship.

Do you see a difference?

wild and weird

Those of you that know me well know that I have an extremely active dream life. What do you make of this one????

Last night I dreamt that while I was scuba diving with a group of people, we had to wash our hair with cheddar cheese. I remember thinking at the time that it was going to get stuck in my hair but due to the salt water, it conditioned my hair beautifully.

in the silence

I attended my first Meeting for Worship this morning at the local Quaker Meeting. Silence was kept the entire time. In conversation with a Friend after worship, she told me that each meeting is different; last week, there was a lot of talking.

For me, the Meeting was both restful and invigorating. I loved not following someone else's agenda for spirituality, but rather be responsive to what God was doing inside of me. My yoga practice stood me in good stead this morning, for as I focused on breathing and being present, I was able to sit easily and alertly for a hour of silence. I found a very natural progression of thoughts - some bam bam bam right off the start, a sense of settling, a time of praying for others, a time of naming and appreciating my particular reality and a time of floating.

I'll leave you with this gem spoken at the time of sharing that followed the silence: "A desire abandoned is as good as a desire fulfilled". The speaker humorously gave his own postscript "...and perhaps better, as it's less trouble!"

intimacy and fear

Jordon has an excellent post on some of Henri Nouwen's writing on intimacy and fear. Head over there for the full text. Here is a snippet:

My own experience with people who I fear offers plenty of examples. Often I avoid them: I leave the house, move to a corner where I can remain unnoticed, or express myself in flat, non-committal sentences. Sometimes I create a false closeness with them. I talk too long with them, laugh too loudly at their jokes, or agree too soon with their opinions. Whether I create too much distance or too much closeness, I always sense a lack of inner freedom and a resentment toward the power they have over me.

doing the daily work of peace

A while ago, I promised to write on doing the daily work of peace in your life. Keep looking for that post. But as a small thought, I've realized that doing the daily work of peace in your life is to offer yourself peace too. Sometime in the last year, I realized that I'd missed a big part of the two greatest commandments. I've thought and studied on the love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength commandment. I've thought on the love your neighbour part of the commandment.

But what I had totally missed was the key part of that second commandment. Love your neighbour as you love yourself. Part of doing the daily of work of peace is loving yourself. Creating space and loving words rather than going to the you're-so-bad tapes. For me, this is challenging work.

leaping around just for the hell of it

There is nothing happier than the site of a bunch of grown men dressed in strange costumes leaping and dancing around exuberantly just for the sheer joy of making arses of themselves in public. Ah, God bless the Morris dancers and in particular, the Vancouver Morris Men. Today they were performing their Plough Sunday or "dark dances". I smiled all through the performance and continued to grin for a while afterwards.

a belated new years post

Happy New Years all. As a friend emailed today, New Years always starts with such promise. I would be remiss if I didn't acknowledge that for many, this is an extraordinary tough start to this particular year. As an aside, I am proud that our government is matching all donations - that will go a long way to help.

Andrea over at the Superhero blog (well worth a regular visit), talked about the various New Years lists she makes. Here are a couple of my lists:

10 Things I Am Grateful For

1. Meaningful work.
2. Healthy arms and legs.
3. Bright coloured scarves.
4. The Examen.
5. Friends who search the deep places in life.
6. Bright eyes.
7. Big flavours (limes, garlic, papayas, coconut milk, sharp cheddar cheese, Gort's Gouda...).
8. Sunshine.
9. Being loved by a child.
10. New ways to know and interact with God.

10 Things I Intend to Welcome Into my Life in 2005

1. Laughter.
2. Success at work.
3. Truth telling.
4. Compliments from others.
5. A new couch.
6. Unexpected love.
7. New skills in conflict resolution.
8. Resource - financial, spiritual and practical.
9. Comfort with my body image.
10. Movement that makes me want to twirl and laugh.

Things I Learned in 2004

1. It's never to early to take risks.
2. The world won't fall apart if I stick up for myself.
3. There is greater spiritual freedom in dwelling in reality than in desired change.
4. You can be happy and sad at the same time.
5. Grief does not have a timetable.
6. The difference between a healthy and not so healthy brain.
7. That I look great in pink.
8. When you follow your intuition, remarkable pathways open up.
9. I'm better than I thought at my work.
10. Waiting often opens up greater opportunities that pursuit does.

You? Comments are open.

library

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